The first Stupid Way to think about God, according to these authors, is to think of Him as Cosmic Bellhop. The authors begin with this prayer: God, I’m checking in. Though just for a short stay. But while I’m here, please see to it I have a wide-screen color TV, a new red Porsche and a large Dr. Pepper, heavy on the ice. Amen.

The belief that God is the ever-gracious Host Who is supposed to respond to our every demand and need is a stupid way of thinking about Him. He is not our own personal puppy Who is eager to gratify our every desire and indulge our every whim. He is not the One we only pray to when we’re in trouble or praise when we win the lottery. He is not the one we should expect to respond to all of our various petitions as automatically as a 24-hour cash machine.

Could anything be more stupid? Yet how often, in our attempt to cope with life, we take the noble notion of God, who is supposed to be served by us and turn Him into a manservant.

Despite our lip service, despite our respectable intonations and self-effacement, we cannot disguise the truth: We believe we can simply order God what to do. It is a stupid idea to think that God’s sole purpose is to underwrite our ego, our selfishness. When we think of God in this manner it is only for our own ignoble gratification and our own petty desires.

When we think of God as a Cosmic Bellhop, we show how strongly we cling to our infantile desires to control and manipulate those around us. We also show a lack of faith in our ability to provide for ourselves.

Although we stiff Him on tips we wonder why He doesn’t place the entire universe at our feet. Then when this happens, we double-lock the door of our hearts. Hang up a Do Not Disturb Sign, act like angry        children, and continue our self-indulgence by ceasing to believe in Him.

Here is the challenge: Do you recognize that the concept of God you have been using and created is inadequate? Do you understand that you have set up unrealistic expectations for God and doomed your faith from the start? Is God someone who, because you have been good, is supposed to rescue you from the challenges of life?

While it is not unreasonable to expect a god to be responsive to our needs, it is unreasonable to expect God to grant all of our wishes at the sound of a bell or a rattled-off prayer. The question is: Are you willing to explore other approaches that can make God more accessible?

Remember, when you make God your Cosmic Bellhop, it’s you who ends up carrying the baggage!