The fourth stupid way to think about God is GOD AS THE GODFATHER. This way of thinking would have God respond to you, when you ask Him for a favor, in this fashion: So you want a favor. You say God, give me justice. Avenge my honor. But this I cannot do. I’ve known you for many years. But when was the last time you paid me a visit? You do not treat me with respect.

Slump your shoulders, bow your head, and walk humbly before your Godfather, Il Capo della Famiglia, the Cosmic Consiglieri, Don Godleone.

He’ll bless you on your wedding day. Fulfill all your worldly desires, and even maybe knock off your enemies, provided, of course, you’re willing to pay the price.

But if you’re not willing, no matter. Don Godleone is prepared to make you an   offer you can’t refuse. He   carries you, and all his godchildren, in his vest pocket. Like so many nickels and dimes.

He doles out favors with one hand and carries a submachine gun in the other. To that extent, he is more balanced than other gods you may be familiar with. He has a light side and a dark side.

But Don Godleone is hardly a good model for the Universal God. He is interested only in his Family – not the family of mankind. When you think about many religious people, despite what religion they belong to, who only think that God rewards the people of their particular religion, you are dealing with the idea of God as Don Godleone. For this god is a primitive tribal god who is jealous, xenophobic and obsessed with his own domain and who is willing to rub out anyone who dishonors him.

Such a god is worse than immoral. He is amoral and can be appeased only by fanatical displays of ritual loyalty. You must kiss his hand. You must kneel. You must huddle in the light of a full moon and make burnt offerings at his altar. You must even be prepared to sacrifice your first-born.

This is not a faith. It is extortion. A holy protection racket that mankind buys into.

Is there no god whose contract on our lives is a true covenant, worthy of respect? A god whose sense of give-and-take is bound by moral ethic? A god that does not need to be continually placated? A god with whom we can have a real, long-lasting relationship?

For although Don Godleone represents a certain advance in thought – an agreement between God and man – it is nevertheless a stupid way of thinking because it is morally meaningless.

It is time we left the Family of the Don and found a better way to think about God and His requirements. One that isn’t a cement straitjacket, a one-way ticket to the bottom of the river.