The second stage of blessed patience is to be free from pain amid all such things. This is similar to the third stage of freedom from anger, that is to be untroubled by dishonor. The Ladder does not give us an equivalent to the second stage of freedom from anger, but the third stage of patience is even higher than the third stage of freedom from anger. It is to think of dishonor as praise. This takes a lot of courage. It does work, however, if you can manage to do it.

Just imagine how life-changing it would be to rejoice in what others think of you and not as causes for sorrow and   anger. To find joy in what is otherwise a cause of so much sin and misery. Even the saints were not loved and   honored by everyone. Even they had enemies and were hated by some.

To be holy is to transform our response to that hatred of others into love and joy. If all were saints, we would be living in a perfect world, for it would be a world in which sorrow is joy and a cause of thanksgiving.

Although St. John does not come out and clearly state this, I believe he would agree with the statement that we, and we alone, are the masters of our feelings. We can choose to respond even to insults with grace and poise, not allowing the ignorance of others to upset us. We must always remember that our feelings are our own and no one, despite what we may think, can actually cause us to feel what we feel. Others can do horrible things to us, but we can choose how we respond to their lack of love. It is essential that we learn how to think this way if we truly want to develop patience. I am also sure that we will have ample opportunities to learn this.

O God, make me the master of my own life of feelings and emotions and never blame others for my feelings.