The ninth step on John’s Ladder is

REMEMBRANCE of WRONGS/MALICE.

As a remedy to malice or remembrance of wrongs, John recommends a very particular prayer. He states Let the prayer of Jesus put it to shame, that prayer which cannot be uttered in the company of malice.

It is not clear whether by the prayer of Jesus John means the Jesus Prayer (Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner) or the Lord’s Prayer – the Our Father. Many authors believe John meant the Our Father since it includes a petition to God to forgive our debts as we willingly forgive the debts of others. When we say this prayer, we should pause and reflect when we reach this point, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Here we have an opportunity to put prayer into practice, to consider what this really implies and to make sure we truly mean what we are saying.

When the wrongs committed against us are great or, if we are not particularly forgiving people, even when the wrongs are small, it is not always easy to forgive. John advises us to take a small, easy step to begin with:

If after great effort you still fail to root out this thorn (malice), go to your enemy and apologize, if only with empty words whose insincerity may shame you. Then as conscience, like a fire, comes to give you pain, you may find that a sincere love of your enemy may come to life.

In other words, even if we have not forgiven with our heart, we should at least humble ourselves and be the first to say sorry. Then, realizing our own hypocrisy, we may be moved to strive all the more to make the forgiveness sincere.

 St. John has very sage advice. Go through the motions. They can help you become sincere!