In the last issue of this article, I shared with you St. John’s advice on how to build your ability to forgive others. John further reminds us that even speaking of forgiveness and insisting on its importance should make us all the more ardently desire to heed our own advice and to practice what we preach. John said:

I have seen malicious people recommending forgiveness to others and then, shamed by their own words, they managed to rid themselves of this vice.

Unfortunately, many of us refuse to take this   initial step. If we do, we do not then consider the importance of at least   trying to turn this lie into truth. Instead, we remain content with our own hypocrisy and empty apologies and try to justify our bitter refusal to forgive and forget.

True forgiveness is rooted in the Christian principle of loving our neighbor as ourselves. How do we love ourselves? Different people may answer in different ways. Some do not like ourselves very much. Some spoil themselves. Others are hard on themselves. Some think of themselves as good, respectable people, while others truly think of themselves as worthless. This is closely connected to what they experienced in childhood. Everyone, however, wants the best for himself. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone truly needs compassion and mercy. This is why St. John tells us that feeling pain for the misfortunes of others as though they were our own is a sign of true forgiveness.

Learning how to truly and honestly forgive others is a major step in spiritual growth. There are eight steps that first must be accomplished before we are prepared to tackle this step of forgiveness. Do not despair. If you work at it, it happens!