The tenth and final stupid way to think about God is GOD THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES. Of all the stupid ways of thinking about God, this is by far the stupidest. So stupid it deserves to be last. Because absolutely no thought whatsoever goes into this notion.
You’ve got a wedding? A confirmation? A christening? A funeral? God the Master of Ceremonies is the ultimate party dude. It makes no difference the last time you stepped into a church. It doesn’t matter when you last prayed. Or even whether you believe. Because God the M.C. can be hired by anyone, for any occasion. He’s Rent-a-God.
God the M.C. is invoked with all the pomp and circumstance, all the apparent reverence and rites befitting the worship of a true God. He may appear holy. But he is hollow.
Because God the M.C. is just a sham, His ceremonies are shows. And often, the more money you donate to your church, the better the seats.
God is being exploited to provide an illusion, the security of tradition. He is used to bolster intergenerational family ties, to force bonding between infants and society, between men and women. Other people will always think better of you if you employ God the M.C. He helps people maintain nominal religious affiliation, with no relation to spirituality and without real faith, strong personal commitment and sincere religious motivation. God is reduced to a viewer spectacle, a façade. God the M.C. comes out, does his act, then retires offstage.
The meaning and relevance of the idea of One God is lost. Devotion is dead. What is important is that the correct words are spoken, the right rituals are performed, the necessary prayers offered, the traditional vows taken.
God the M.C. is rendered a spiritless ceremonialist – a show-biz god. All that remains is a shell of faith that in the absence of sentimentality would crumble to dust.
Indeed, God the M.C. is even more empty of spirituality than atheism is. At least it is honest.
For many, the sheer hypocrisy of this begins very early. A child is born and his parents suddenly feel the urge to drop things and get in some old-time religion. This may be done unconsciously out of deep guilt, with considerable social and family pressure.
As noble as their desires sound, frequently parents are not so emphatic about the importance of God in their own lives. And their religion is seldom practiced at home.
Just imagine how it looks to a young child when his mother and father themselves do not take seriously the faith they are force-feeding. It is enough to make any god unworthy of belief.
God is not just an M.C.!