I have been suggesting in this article that the call to holiness is a call to enter into a genuine relationship with God which can only be facilitated by the establishment of genuine relationships with other human beings. If we are unable to have genuine relationships with others, we cannot possibly expect to have a genuine relationship with God. The truth in this assertion is proven by the fact that if I don’t have the skills to form true and genuine human relationships, then the relationship I think I have with God only amounts to a figment of my imagination. Why? Because I don’t have the skills to have a true and genuine relationship with anyone else.

The marvel of Jesus’ creation of the greatest commandment is that He says quite clearly that the love of God, neighbor and self are intimately intertwined. We truly can’t have one without the others.

So one of our first steps in trying to build a relationship with God is to learn how to have a real relationship with others. I’ve presented some ideas about the skills that are needed to have a relationship with others.

However, another first step, it must be said, is to develop a true and honest love for yourself. Now many may say that this is silly since most people love themselves. I can honestly say, after many years working with people, that I find that few people truly love themselves. While they may be self-centered and egotistic, that is not true love of self. True love of self requires that we are honest with ourselves about who we are. To truly love yourself you must be willing to embrace not only your strengths but also your weaknesses and develop an ability to not personalize things that happen to you. To truly love yourself you must be willing to take personal responsibility for your feelings and behaviors and not attempt to bolster your self-worth by judging others or making the excuse that others make you feel the way that you do. We all are responsible for our own feelings and behaviors.